Internal Memos

An interesting question popped up in the National Church Survey (or something, something) on Sunday.It was something along the lines of "How willing are you to discuss personal problems with members of your congregation?" and there was another which went "How open is your church to openly discussing personal problems?" 

The gist of it was "How much do you trust your fellow church-mates?" and it likely then draws some conclusions as to the health of the Church and its congregation. Interesting to see how this data is eventually presented to Churches and how the Church uses it going ahead.

Clocks of differing speeds

We have 5 clocks in the apartment, something interesting considering that this place is barely 70sqm. Our place is so tiny that two of the clocks are on opposing walls. It wasn't really meant to be like this, but a mistake at IKEA led to us having too many clocks and yeah.. When you have as little furniture as we had, you'll put anything up.

The interesting thing about these clocks is that they run in two separate people-zones; Ja time and Sheng time. If the clock was set by Sheng,  it would be 10mins fast. If me, it will be within half a minute of the actual time (Unless your really patient, you can't control the seconds on $5 IKEA clocks)

I like to think that this is a simple sign of how much a sanctuary the physical boundaries of my room are. The world moves at an accelerated pace, whether or not i want to keep time. But in my own space, I'm right where i want to be, when i want to be.

Constantly There

I'm not bemoaning the simple days gone, I don't think i have experienced quite enough to justify such thoughts. I'm not trying to bitch about the unique plight i find myself in, because i know that I'm not that screwed up. The last two lines are also not entirely about differentiating myself from others, it's just about stating where I am at right now.

So from here it seems like a few things consistently pop out at me. The first being the difficulty in leading a consistent life when you hold yourself to a higher standard then what you would naturally veer towards. Age, experience and a certain amount of maturity helps you make the right choices in sticky situations.

But the questions never go away; they never go away. The first thoughts which plague you in your weaknesses, are the same ones you are going to be encountering again and again throughout your life. The form may differ, but the root issues always remain the same.

It is exactly because of this struggle that i see my faith as instrumental to life. The concept of divine intervention is a necessary truth to me, for I see every man as i see myself, broken and unable to lift himself out of such a fate. He can try and at times he might succeed. In fact, he could be extremely successful for a long period of time. Such is the spirit of man.

But man is a finite object and so is his strength, one day it will fade and he will falter. It then matters not what he has done until that moment, for all is meaningless when confronted with abject failure. What then, what will he do next!

As with all man, I am part pessimist, part optimist and many other complex bits I have no hope of adequately explaining or listing. This complex dance between one's many "selfs" leads to an individual either accepting or rejecting the notion of a higher power. Don't ask me what the magic formula is here thou, i don't think anyone has a clue.

ja